Keal Family Letter, July 2006

Hello Friends and Family. Happy July to you all!


Surprise, surprise... Tirah has a new job! (Didn't I just tell you that?) The continuing adventures of Tirah's career: Not long after Tirah started settling into her new promotion at Jo-Ann Fabrics, she got a call from Hawk Mountain asking if she was interested in interviewing for the Book Store Manager position. She said yes... interviewed... and got the job! Here's the back-story:

Tirah worked up at Hawk Mountain, off and on, as the Assistant Book Store Manager, for the past few years. She stopped after the Fall of 2004. Just after that, the Book Store Manager (a good friend of ours named Scott Davis) quit... coincidentally to go back home and be a Mr. Mom like me. As he left, Scott recommended to the director of Hawk Mountain that Tirah would be the best person to fill his shoes. The director didn't hire a new Book Store Manager right away because he wanted to re-evaluate the book store entirely. But finally after many months, he was ready to hire. We got the call just after Tirah got her promotion at Jo-Ann Fabrics. It caught us by surprise because we had sort of forgotten about the possibility. Tirah was one of several people interviewing for the job. After a few days we got a call saying that they had narrowed it down to two people: Tirah and somebody else. The director was going to call references. Finally, about the middle of June, we got the call saying that Tirah got the job!

It's a much better situation for us. Here's the comparison:
1. Hawk Mountain is 15 minutes away... Jo-Ann is 45 minutes away.
2. The commute to Hawk Mountain is through rural Kempton... the commute to Jo-Ann is through rush-hour highway traffic.
3. Hawk Mountain is an 8 hour work day... Jo-Ann is a 9 hour work day.
4. Hawk Mountain has regular hours: 9-5-ish... Jo-Ann was a flexible schedule (we could never plan our social life very easily)
5. At Hawk Mountain, Tirah will be home every night for dinner... at Jo-Ann, Tirah often got home at 10:30 at night, and sometimes had to be at work at 6:00 in the morning. It messed up all our schedules: social, home, sleeping, etc.
6. Hawk Mountain is better suited to Tirah's talents: friendly customer service... her promotion at Jo-Ann meant more paper-work and less customer service.
7. Hawk Mountain is much better pay, even than her promotion at Jo-Ann Fabrics.
8. Hawk Mountain has a nicer work environment, such as windows (for looking outside)... no windows at Jo-Ann Fabrics.
9. Hawk Mountain is a nicer business model: non-profit... Jo-Ann is a corporate retail franchise.
10. Tirah's boss at Jo-Ann (one of the people she got along with best) is also leaving.
11. Except for the Fall, Tirah will likely have two days off in a row every week... at Jo-Ann she rarely got two days off in a row.
12. It sounds like some of the benefits are better, such as vacation time. (We haven't been on vacation since before Thea was born... it will be nice to maybe get the chance soon.)
13. It's close enough that I can drive her to work when I need the car. She might even be able to car-pool with my dad.

I can think of one down-side right now, which is that the health insurance is so expensive that we can only afford Tirah. So me and the kids will have to find our own health insurance. But even after paying for health insurance for me and the kids out of pocket, Tirah is still making more money. Plus, I can get discounted health insurance through some of my music contacts.

Right now, Tirah is stuck in a crazy, messed up scheduling pattern... she's in the middle of working 10 days straight! As you can imagine, she's very tired. The schedule at Jo-Ann got mixed up and she had to work the last 4 days there, right before she works 6 days at Hawk Mountain. So she's working June 29th to July 8th without a break! She's amazing. It will be 10 days in a row, broken up between two different jobs... but the excitement of the new job will probably be off-set by the stress of learning the new job. She's a trooper!

Tirah and I celebrated our 5th anniversary on June 24th. Well, actually we celebrated all weekend! Tirah managed to get that whole weekend off. Here's what we did: On Friday night (June 23rd), after Tirah got home from work, we went out to dinner, and then did some shopping for the weekend. We bought the ingredients for the picnic lunch that was "our thing" while we were dating. It consisted of chicken, a baguette (long french bread), and some nice cheese like Armenian string cheese, or fresh mozzarella. We also bought some Martinelli's Sparkling Apple Cider, and some yummy sugar-free desserts. All of that was to be saved for a candle-light dinner at home on our anniversary. We then went and bought a book about marriage that we'd been wanting to read.

On Saturday, the 24th, we grabbed the kids and drove off to the North Museum in Lancaster. It's a hands-on, designed-for-kids, science and natural history museum, complete with a planetarium. Thanks for the membership Abby! We all had a great time there. We then had a family picnic lunch in a nearby park, and then drove home as the kids napped in the car. The rest of the day was normal, until after the kids went to bed, when we had our candle-light dinner.

On Sunday, after reading and praying together, we got up and put on our wedding clothes, and took some pictures of us and the kids. After the kids went down for their naps, we took off for Bryn Athyn to go to Brian Smith and Janine Gladish's wedding. Going to a wedding, especially without kids, is a wonderful way to celebrate one's anniversary. We had lots of fun, and we even got to dance at the reception.

On June 13th, Cirdan turned two. We had a nice, little party with just family. He got some books, and a soccer (football) shirt that Tirah made. And then we let the kids have some chocolate cake. They don't eat cake very often, and we certainly paid the price that night (it was a long night), but hey, it was a birthday party!

Thea and Cirdan continue to amaze us as we watch them grow up. A few days ago, Thea was frustrated and sad over something I told her she couldn't do. Refusing sympathy from me, she stood in the middle of the kitchen floor, crying. Now, to back up a bit, the kids have been having a lot of fun lately playing with balloons. They're great toys for kids: they're slow enough that they can learn motor skills more easily, and they're light enough that they don't cause a lot of collateral damage. Thea and Cirdan each had their own balloon; Thea's was red, and Cirdan's was blue; and they had been feeling very possessive over their balloons and fighting about it all morning. Well, as Thea stood there crying in the kitchen, I saw Cirdan slowly walk towards her with his blue balloon. He then handed her his balloon! She was too sad to take it, so he dropped it and slowly (almost as if he knew this might back-fire) reached out his short little arms to give her a sympathetic hug. Thankfully, Thea didn't respond by hitting him (which she often does), but accepted the comfort from her two year old sibling. He then, slowly, reached his little head towards Thea's and gave her a little toddler kiss... which she also did not object to. And Cirdan didn't give up until - wonder of wonders - he actually helped to mend Thea's bad mood!

Tirah and I have been reading a parenting book recently called, "Children are from Heaven," (by the same author as "Men are from Mars, Women are from Venus.") and this little story was certainly a nice example of that. Children are driven so much by emotion (much more so that adults), and a lot of the time, that emotion is selfishness. This is normal and natural, but it is so nice to see those moments when the fact that "children are from heaven" really shines through, and they astound us with signs of heavenly selflessness.

Thea is amazingly perceptive. She notices things, especially relationships and other people-related concepts. The other day, during a meal at the kitchen table, Thea amazed us by calling my dad, "Ian." We didn't think she knew that his name was anything other than "Dee-Daw." Not to mention that fact that she seemed to understand the complicated distinction between someone's name and someone's title. Just to be sure, my mom started asking her questions:
"Thea, do you know what Dee-Daw's name is?"
She replied, "Ian!"
"Do you know what Mee-Maw's name is?"
"Wellesley!" (perfectly pronounced, no less!)
"Do you know what Papa's name is?"
"Solomon!"
"Do you know what Mama's name is?"
"Sweety!"
And there's where her understanding broke down slightly, though understandably so; as I call Tirah "Sweety," much more often than I call her by her actually name. It is certainly very cute to think that Thea thinks that Tirah's name is "Sweety." I know she's heard me call Tirah, "Tirah," occasionally. Perhaps she thinks "Tirah" is another title: "Sweety, my Tirah." or "Sweety, Papa's Tirah." The minds of children are so fascinating!

Well, I have been a Stay-at-home Dad, a Mr. Mom, a Full-Time Parent, for a whole year now... and I'm loving it. Tirah and I are both loving the roles that we're in right now. It's funny how switching from the stereotypical or traditional roles of husband/father and wife/mother, has actually helped us to become a better husband/father and a better wife/mother. Since Tirah has been working outside of the home, she's been forced to make the best of her time with the kids, and though the time is less, the quality is better. She's been able to get an objective view of the things that really matter to her, and a chance to support her true feminine qualities. The same is true for me. Since I've been the stay-at-home parent, I've been able to focus more on my career goals, and thus pursue and encourage true masculine qualities in me, that were dormant while I was working outside of the home, and focused merely on bringing home a paycheck. The kids are getting a more balanced parenting environment, with a father who is very present. And walking a mile in each other's shoes has certainly improved our marriage. We understand each other more, and resent each other less. It's been wonderful to see the Lord's hand in the strange and wonderful path that is our life.

My music business is still moving forward. I'm recording my next album, and you can now pre-order it. For more news, check out the News page of my website (http://www.solomonkeal.com/news.html), or subscribe to my music newsletter.

Have a wonderful day!

Love,
Solomon, Tirah, Thea, and Cirdan Keal.