Keal Family Letter, August 2006

Hello Friends and Family. Happy August to you all!


We had a wonderful July here at the Keal household. Tirah's new job as the Bookstore Manager at Hawk Mountain is going really well. She's really enjoying the work, and I think she will be a wonderful asset to the Mountain. Though it's been stressful at times over the month (hiring new helpers, learning new tasks), over-all it's been wonderful for her, and for us having her around more. After about a month working there, she's starting to feel more prepared for the Fall season, which is the busy season up at Hawk Mountain.

At the beginning of July we started potty training Thea, and fortunately this time it's working. We had tried once a while ago, but it was met with resistance after the first few times. This time, at age 3 and 1/2, she finally seems ready. I think she's been loving the independence it gives her. We decided to just jump right into it, so one day (a Sunday I believe), we took her out of diapers, and put her in underpants, and hoped for the best. She had about a week of accidents here and there, and then she got it. We've had several weeks now of an accident-free, proud to be three, independent little girl. She still wears diapers when she sleeps, but in a week or two, we'll be moving her out of her crib and into a "Big Girl Bed," which she is very excited about. Then we'll try to teach her that she can climb out of bed to use the potty if she has too. Hopefully she won't spend all night in the bathroom!

Cirdan has been a bit jealous of all this attention paid out to Thea. He always insists on coming upstairs with me and Thea, whenever she has to use the bathroom. I knew he was feeling a bit left-out when I went into the kid's room to check on Cirdan, and found him curled up in Thea's crib, sucking on her binky! A few days later, after a particularly long bathroom episode, Thea and I went looking for Cirdan, and found him asleep on me and Tirah's bed! But though I know he feels jealous at times, I think most of the time, he just likes to get in on the action, and often he comes running into the bathroom singing, "I'm proud of you, so proud of you, I hope that you're as proud as I am..." although it comes out sounding more like, "I poud a you, so poud a you, Ah ho dat you a poud a ah am..."

This potty training thing is certainly a good test of my patience. There have been days when - during the waking hours - Thea has gone to the bathroom every half an hour... and she usually takes 15 minutes to do the whole process! (She loves washing her hands. It seems like for her, washing hands is the equivalent of a massage.) Anyway, I end up spending half of the kid's waking hours sitting on the edge of the bathtub, resting my head in my hands, trying to remind myself why parenting is so fulfilling!

Cirdan is developing quite the imagination, and thirst for knowledge. His favorite phrase right now is, "What's that?" I'm going to guess that I hear that phrase around 200 times a day. It is simultaneously tiring and thrilling to hear it that much. It's wonderful to see his curiosity, and his drive to learn! What an amazing creation little children's brains are. He soaks up information like a little pink sponge. When I'm in a good mood, I love to do my best to answer each and every question the best that I can, because I know that I can make a big difference, not only in what he learns, but in how he views the learning process later in life. I love to think that one of the best things I can do as a parent is to nurture the thirst for knowledge.

It's fun to watch Cirdan's imagination. Both he and Thea love to play in their little toy kitchen. Often times they will bring me little toy cups of some imaginary beverage which I absolutely love. The other day I heard lots of activity going on in their little kitchen, and then the little voice of Cirdan yelling across the room to me, "Papa! Pancakes are ready!"

Since Tirah started working at Hawk Mountain, I've taken the kids up there a few times, and we've walked the trails a little bit. The Hawk Mountain Sanctuary building is on one side of the road, and the trails are on the other side of the road, so we had the opportunity to teach the kids a little more about roads, and how you have to watch for cars coming. A short time after one of those trips up to the Mountain, the kids were playing in the living room, pushing their little strollers around. At one point amid the hustle and bustle of little feet and little wheels, Cirdan stopped his stroller, and yelled out, "Car Coming!" He then slowly turned his head from side to side, and after the car (which I couldn't see) passed, he rushed off again.

Tirah and I have had the wonderful opportunity to be a part of a Lori and John Odhner Marriage Support Group for the last four weeks. It's an eight week support group, so we're half way done. It takes place in Bryn Athyn, every Wednesday night, so it's a bit of a trek for us every week. But as we discussed in the first meeting, it's unfortunate that our culture doesn't support the idea of spending as much energy on our marriages, as we do on dating, courting, and the proposal. And I used to drive down to Bryn Athyn every weekend when Tirah and I were dating, so it's perfectly reasonable to spend the same amount of energy (and gas money) on our marriage today!
It's been a wonderful way to connect with each other every week, as well as a great opportunity to meet other couples and support, and be supported by, them. We've learned some valuable exercises that we have already begun to apply to our marriage, and share with others. Healthy marriage is a very important thing for both Tirah and I, and we've been discovering more and more that we think it will play a bigger and bigger part in our lives, and even possibly our occupations, further down the road. We would love to become marriage counselors at some point. So we've now consciously made that a goal in our lives, and decided to set aside money for marriage education.
So when this marriage support group is over, we hope to start one of our own up here in Kempton, which is severely lacking on that sort of thing. There is a marriage doctrinal class here in Kempton, but that's a very different thing from a marriage support group. The doctrinal class is like reading and talking about climbing a mountain, while a marriage support group is like actually starting to climb that mountain. It's the good that compliments the truth of a doctrinal class.
And the nice thing is that, while it's usually a minister that runs a doctrinal class, any married couple could start up a marriage support group. So that is another one of our goals, probably for early next year. Lori and John are excited to have us start one up here too.

One of the things that we talked about in our marriage support group was an idea that Lori and John came up with called the Marriage Badge. Lori had a few of her boys go through the Boyscout program, and she was impressed by how much of a support group it was for young men. So she thought we could borrow a few ideas from them, and she came up with the idea of a married couple setting up goals for themselves, and if they accomplished those goals, they would earn a Marriage Badge, and get the support of other married couples along the way. (And they could even work their way up to Eagle Spouse!)
So the Marriage Badge that Tirah and I are working on right now is our Music Badge. We haven't really done music together since before Thea was born, and yet that is a huge love for both of us; part of us falling in love with each other; and something that brings us closer together. It's sad how often the tasks of daily life take us away from the person we're living right next to. So we set some goals for ourselves: having a weekly music night for the two of us, performing for our marriage support group, producing a CD of our love songs, and organizing another concert. It's been very fulfilling so far!

Speaking of music, Tirah and I have also been independently getting back into regular music times. Now that Tirah doesn't work evenings, she's been able to get to go to choir more often. And I've been a part of a men's a cappella group. Actually our a cappella group is planning on releasing a Christmas CD as a fund raiser for our church. So that's a lot of fun.

I'm still recording my next album, "Peace of Heaven." You can now pre-order it, for only $13.00 (as opposed to the regular price of $15.00). Send me an email if you want to pre-order. As always you can learn more at my website (http://www.solomonkeal.com), or by subscribing to my music newsletter.

Have a great day everybody, and if you're in the Northern Hemisphere... stay cool!

Love,
Solomon (Husband, Father, Musician)
Tirah (Wife, Mother, Bookstore Manager)
Thea (Potty-trained independent big girl)
Cirdan (Inquisitive little tyke)