Keal Family Letter, February 2007

Hello Friends and Family!

Happy February to you all. Here in Lenhartsville it is cold enough
to make a polar bear think twice about getting out of bed. It was
apparently 0 degrees Fahrenheit at some point this morning. We had
about an inch of snow a few days ago, and it's still on the ground;
the sun can't touch it.

Our kids have fallen in love with "snowmen" this winter, largely due
to the fact that they have watched both "Frosty the Snowman," and the
movie version of Raymond Briggs' "The Snowman." They keep asking
when they will be able to go outside and make a snowman.
Unfortunately we haven't had enough snow to make a snowman. We've
had a few dustings of snow, but nothing big enough to make a snowman
with. The kids are always a little disappointed. Whenever the
flurries start they get their hopes up, but when I tell them, "it's
just a dusting," they resign themselves to just watching out the window.

The other day I overheard this conversation: Cirdan said, "Thea,
look! It's snowing!" And Thea said, "No Cirdan, it's not snow,
it's just dust!"

I'm always fascinated by the way kids will sometimes say things.
It's a little glimpse into their tiny understandings. The things
that come out of my kids' mouths will range from very funny to
profoundly poetic. The other day, Thea was reading a book in which
there was a picture of someone who was obviously very sad and crying
about something. But she couldn't see the tears in the picture. So
she turned to me and said, "But Papa, I can't see the drops of his
sadness."

Thea just celebrated her fourth birthday on the 2nd. We had a very
nice party. She requested "black cake with white icing," which is
what we had. We decided that when Thea turned 4, she would be done
with her binky (pacifier). We have been hyping this up for a couple
months now, telling her that she will be such a big girl that she
won't "need" her binky anymore. Fortunately, it seems to be
working. There was only one time, during a nap time after she turned
4, that she told me that she wanted to be 3 again. But over all,
she seems to have been able to kick the habit; cold turkey.

Cirdan is still a hopeless binky addict. If he manages to get
upstairs without us knowing, he heads straight for his bed, grabs his
binky, and hides behind the rocking chair, sucking to his heart's
content. It could be a struggle to get him off the binky. I don't
know if they make binky patches, but we'll have to look for
something. Maybe we can enroll him in Pacifier Addicts Anonymous.

Here are some more classic quotes from Thea: She loves to wash her
hands, and she spends a long time doing it. Which was why it made
perfect sense that she told me, "The soap was very dirty, so I had to
clean it."

Thea is an "Acts of Service" kind of person. (One of Gary Chapman's
Five Love Languages) Which means that one of the most common
phrases you will hear come out of her mouth is: "Can I help you?"
I think she's got a future in customer service.

Here's another one: Thea was in the naughty room because she was
screaming. From the other room, I hear these words reverberate
around the house: "I"M NOT GOING TO SCREAM ANYMORE!!!!"

Tirah and I just recently watched the first two seasons of the Cosby
Show on DVD. That has got to be some of the best quality
entertainment on the face of the planet! It's hysterical, it's
clean, and it set's a good example for parents, spouses, and
children. I've developed a new slogan for myself, as the stay-at-
home parent: Whenever I'm faced with a situation where I don't know
what to do as a parent, I ask myself, "What would Bill Cosby do?"
Well, first of all, just thinking about Bill Cosby get's me in a
better mood, which helps to clear my emotions. And second: what Bill
Cosby would do is he would make somebody laugh, which helps to clear
everyone else's emotions. There have been several times now, where
I've turned my children's screaming into laughing, just by making an
idiot of myself! And that's not even that hard to do! The man is
brilliant!

The Cosby Show is also great for supporting the idea of a strong,
healthy marriage as the foundation for a healthy family. It has
often been said that Cliff and Clair Huxtable are the most romantic
married couple in the history of television, and I would have to
agree. Bill Cosby (as Cliff Huxtable) sets the example for all
husbands as a man who passionately loves his wife, and constantly
gives her attention and affection. They make marriage look like so
much fun! One of my favorite quotes from the show is Cliff talking
to Clair: "You are a genius! And I'm a genius because I married
you!" If more husbands said that to their wives on a regular basis,
there would be less divorce.

As our children get older, Tirah and I think more and more about how
we want to raise them, what we want to teach them, and what we hope
to equip them with. Tirah and I just finished reading Jeremiah and
Lamentations, and we were saddened by the descriptions of
children being killed and the fact that the great Jerusalem couldn't
protect them from the enemy. We started wondering what that meant
for us. Our church teaches that "children" in the Bible represent
innocence, and that "Jerusalem" represents the Church, and that it's
"walls" represent the truth.

So in this story, the church became corrupt and it's understanding of
the truth fell apart, and therefore innocence was no longer
protected. And yet when the church was good, the truth was able to
protect innocence. At least that's our rudimentary understanding of
the story. But what really struck us was this idea of "truth
protecting innocence." We seem to have this assumption in our
culture that in order to protect innocence you need to hide the
truth! "We shouldn't tell our kids about that because we want to
preserve their innocence." And yet the Bible seems to be teaching us
that it is truth, not ignorance, that protects innocence!

This fits with the imagery of the story. We might be inclined to
think of the walls of Jerusalem as something that simply hides the
enemy from the children within, (and hides the children from the
enemy without). Or we could think of the walls of Jerusalem as a way
of gaining an elevated view of the surrounding armies, and thereby
knowing how better to defeat them!

We also have to look at the word "innocence." Swedenborg defines
innocence as "the willingness to be led by the Lord." (HH 341) It's
the explanation of truth, not the hiding of truth, that preserves
this. I see confirmation of this with my kids every day. If my kids
ask me a question that is a little beyond their comprehension, I'm
presented with a choice: I could either hide the truth, ("The stork
brings babies!") or I could try to explain the truth to them. In
my experience, even a little 3-year-old knows when I'm not telling
her the whole truth. And when I do that, I can see the "willingness
to be led" start to fade from her eyes. It's the truth that
preserves innocence! What a wake-up call for us parents!

Speaking of the church: my sister Roxanne introduced me to this
great website called GoodSearch.com. It's a search engine that
donates a portion of it's revenue to the charity of your choice.
Our local church school (The Kempton New Church School) is now added
to it's database. It's pretty cool! Go check it out: http://
www.goodsearch.com.

Tirah and I are looking forward to the "Caring For Marriage"
Conference later this month. I'll tell you how it went next time.

Well that's all for now.

Have a great day everyone!

Love,

Solomon, Tirah, Thea, Cirdan, and Baby Keal.